We all fear change! Some of us say we love it and that may be true to an extent but beneath it all we are still fearing the unknown.
The key factor for this feeling is the fear as it presents itself in so many different ways. If we do not address what we are afraid of then we cannot move forward and grow, we just become paralysed by fear.
We never like admitting that we are scared of something and it can be really tough to become that vulnerable, but we have to have acknowledge that we have a fear of the unknown, we think we are not competent enough, or we just really don’t know what is going on with this new change.
But this fear will break us if we do not accept that it is there and deal with it.
My greatest fear for a very long time was the fear of failure! I didn’t even understand that the fear was even there, I just would create excuses why I couldn’t launch a new product, or a new project and I would just leave it, walk away completely ,after a bunch of heart and soul poured into it, and worst of all my time, time that I was working that was wasted because I cared too much about what others would say if it didn’t work. The time came and realisation happened when I could see that fear was stopping me from achieving success, that very point and time I said no more.
This is what I want you to do, think of a time where you were unhappy with some kind of change (there is so many happening all the time for us) and you may have become very defensive or even quite aggressive towards the change itself or those involved. Really though it wasn’t the change you were unhappy about, it was the fear of something inside you. Because I guarantee you have been through plenty of changes in your life and most of them you can look back now and think why didn’t we do that sooner. It is a horrible feeling when this fear takes a hold of us and can trigger some really uncharacteristic behaviours from us.
So here’s the deal, here are 3 ways to deal with the change:
- Gain an understanding of what and why this change is actually happening.
This is huge because most of us are completely in the dark when it comes to change. Ask the right questions and you will start to ease the fear of the unknown and whether or not we have the skillset to survive this change.Now that we know what and why get an understanding of what training and experience we are going to need going forward, this is my favourite part because we get to grow, learn and develop ourselves. People that are not willing to learn and grow themselves do not deserve to have an opinion on change (harsh, but true).
- Get the skills and get support from a mentor or coach.
When we start to learn anything new it is important to have support, this will take the pressure off us and ensure that we don’t become distracted with other “important” priorities. The hard coach is the coach we need, we may not like the things they have to say but they have an important role to play keeping us on track to succeed. - Tweak new skills and get comfortable in the new environment and with our new skills.
We have made it through the change but may still be a little rocky with certain skills or processes, that’s ok, celebrate that fact that we have transitioned through the change and we are winning. We may just need some little adjustments but we are here and we are doin’ it. Reflect back on the change and keep it in our mind remember that the change was never what we felt anxious or angry about it was the Fear!
The more we change and grow the more this process will become second nature for us. We will do it without even thinking about it and the anger or confusion or any other emotion that had us rattled will cease to exist when it comes to change. The fear will always be there just the volume will be lower.
So remember when it comes to change don’t be so hard on the change itself, but tell fear to be quiet so you can do what you need to do.
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”
– Leo Tolstoy
What change are you avoiding? How are you going to attack it?
Have an awesome week,
Kris Mac
